Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support

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Sara Grimes
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SPALS is an email-based discussion group providing self-help support for subsequent pregnancy after a loss.


SPALS is an active and positive support network, with over 350 members sharing mutual support and information regarding subsequent pregnancy. Member experiences cover a wide range of circumstances of pregnancy loss and experiences of subsequent pregnancy.

SPALS subscribers value the supportive and understanding environment created on the list -- and it is the members of the list themselves who deserve tremendous credit for providing such a warm and helpful place in which to discuss the challenges of subsequent pregnancy.

SPALS strives to stimulate a self-help response. This is not medical advice and it is not professional counselling. Any suggestions provided by subscribers is largely based on the personal experiences of bereaved individuals who are themselves seeking or experiencing subsequent pregnancy. We consider this to be valuable support to the self-help process. Those seeking support should not rely solely on SPALS for their emotional support.


SPALS is a place for mutual self-help. Subscribers to SPALS strive to offer each other support through subsequent pregnancies by discussing issues that often arise in a pregnancy after a loss, such as:

  • Coping with actual and imagined fears of another loss.
  • Working with family and employers to adjust to the special needs of a moderate or high risk pregnancy.
  • Medical risks and additional testing of a subsequent pregnancy.
  • How our previous loss has affected our feelings and others' about another pregnancy.
  • Testing and/or treatment for secondary infertility following a loss.
  • Coping with ongoing loss in subsequent pregnancy.

Discussion is not limited to these topics, but members are strongly encouraged to keep discussion within the scope of subsequent pregnancy after a loss.

Experience has taught us that some topics are divisive and derisive, and best avoided on SPALS. The SPALS Guidelines contain further information on how to approach sensitive topics.


The SPALS support network is for bereaved parents who are currently pregnant, trying to conceive, considering another pregnancy, or wrestling with the whole idea of becoming pregnant again. List administrators screen applicants to determine whether prospective members fit into the SPALS profile. Members agree to meet the obligation of members.

Member Obligation:

It is each member's obligation to abide by the SPALS Code of Conduct, observe and uphold the charter of SPALS, and follow the SPALS Guidelines, all of which guide our members in providing mutual support.

Code of Conduct:

The SPALS Code of Conduct helps us to preserve our self-help group process. Our group process is what SPALS members depend upon for support. Our group process depends upon mutual support, decorum, tolerance, and self-respect.


The SPALS Guidelines, by specific examples, attempt to identify clearly those few topics and behaviors that generally are found to be hurtful on SPALS. Any questions about SPALS group process or appropriate conduct on SPALS should be directed privately to the list administrators.


The charter, Code of Conduct, Guidelines and membership of SPALS are maintained by the list administrators, who provide this service on a volunteer basis.

SPALS is not moderated and the list administrators do not censor messages. However, to promote a supportive atmosphere, list administrators will actively discourage any behaviour outside of the SPALS Guidelines. A subscriber who repeatedly or flagrantly disregards the guidelines will be considered unwilling to follow the SPALS Code of Conduct, and will lose access to SPALS.

Any questions or concerns about member behaviour should be directed privately to the list administrators. By common courtesy, such concerns should not be posted directly to the list.