What
are the SPALS rules? Rules? Are
there rules about what I can post on SPALS? SPALS has a
Code
of Conduct
that we expect every subscriber to understand and to uphold.
The SPALS
Code of Conduct
is part of our Charter
for SPALS. Our members value the supportive and
understanding environment that SPALS provides -- and our
Code
of Conduct
is part of that environment. Members of SPALS are
all hurt and grieving people who are trying to rebuild their
lives while coping with the additional stress of a
subsequent pregnancy. Some of us have faced difficult
choices and some will face difficult choices while on the
list. The SPALS
Code of Conduct
provides guidance for individual members seeking to respond
to the posts of other members. Rather than absolute
rules, we provide Guidelines
to help members understand the Code
of Conduct
and to clarify how the list administrators interpret that
code. Understanding the
SPALS
Code of Conduct
and being familiar with its Guidelines
are essential for every SPALS member. See also:
SPALS
Charter;
SPALS
Code of Conduct;
SPALS
Guidelines Can I
depend on SPALS for pregnancy loss support? SPALS is a
discussion group for support of subsequent pregnancy after a
loss. Many subscribers come to SPALS immediately after
experiencing a loss. Sadly, some subscribers have even
encountered a subsequent loss while subscribed to SPALS. We
hope that all subscribers who have a need to discuss
circumstances of their loss will find SPALS a friendly,
understanding and compassionate place. However, our focus
is on subsequent pregnancy -- becoming pregnant and managing
pregnancy following the experience of a loss. Other mailing
lists provide general loss support, including support for
loss in pregnancy. We believe that
SPALS provides valuable support to the self-help process.
But, those seeking support should be wary of relying solely
on SPALS for their emotional support. For professional
advice or counselling, we urge you to see your physician,
professional counsellor, or another health care provider, as
appropriate. See also:
SPALS
Cautions Can I
discuss SPALS posts with other people? You should consider
posts received from other SPALS subscribers to be private
and confidential. Many posts contain intimate personal
details that would not likely be shared in a public
forum. Yet, you may meet a
person outside of SPALS who might benefit from hearing about
a story or experience you have heard on SPALS. This poses an
interesting problem: how to share this story or experience
while maintain the privacy of the original poster. There are
few absolutes, but several rules of thumb: The guidelines apply
to providing information to one individual based on one
poster's story or experience. Recognize that SPALS is a
private discussion group and not a public forum. Compiling
stories or experiences from SPALS without express advance
permission of the list
administrators
is not acceptable. When in doubt,
consult with one of our list
administrators
for advice. How can I
post a survey to SPALS? Our Charter
specifies "we will actively discourage ... posting a formal
survey of any nature, to be published in any manner, without
prior approval from the list administrators." SPALS is a place for
self-help. To maintain a confidential and private atmosphere
within SPALS, we like to avoid surveys and solicitations.
"How did you handle ... " questions for your own personal
information are appropriate. Surveys or solicitations for
*any* other purpose are not -- unless you have obtained
prior approval from the list
administrators.
If the list administrators approve a survey, they may also
provide you with advice regarding how to position the
contents and when would be appropriate to post. Be considerate to
other SPALS members -- be sure to consult with our
list
administrators
if you are considering posting any form of survey (whether
your own or anothers') to SPALS. Do I have
to add "SPALS" to the subject of every message? The simple answer is
"no". Our Majordomo listserver takes care of this for us,
adding "SPALS" to each message sent from the list, and
SPALS* and volume and issue informaiton to each message sent
from the Digest. While it is not
essential to have SPALS in the subject of every message, it
is essential to make sure you provide an informative and
relevant subject. Do I have
to leave SPALS after I have my baby? You are welcome to
stay with SPALS following a successful subsequent pregnancy.
Those who have completed their journey to subsequent
pregnancy can be an inspiration to those beginning the
journey or despairing while en route. A group of SPALS and
former SPALS parents with children from a subsequent
pregnancy have created a list called PAL (Parenting After
Loss). Contact Pam
Cawley
<pcawley@langara.bc.ca> for more information on
PAL.